On the Pursuit of a New Career

After watching Fox News this morning, I officially have a new career goal.  I want to be the guy who comes up with "clever" headlines for sports stories.  Fox ran the following headline in reference to last night's Detroit Pistons-Philly 76ers game:

"Philadelphia Clogs Pistons"

I know very little about engines, but I think we can all get the gist of the statement.   Still, I can only wonder at some of the rejected headlines:

"Pistons Need an Overhaul"

"Philly causes Pistons to Throw a Rod"

"Pistons Combust as Philly Spreads Smoothly"

Back to the point: if anyone knows how I can become this guy, please let me know.  I would also be willing to be the guy who is responsible for the scrolling stories at the bottom of the screen if that's what it takes to break into the business (Fox and others seem to have trouble in this dept as well).  A sample of my work is below.

"Suns fail to Shine as Spurs Stab"

"Suns Spurred to Lose"

"Dallas has the Salve for Hornets' Sting"

"Mavericks Raid the Hornets' Nest"

"Magic Casts Spell as Raptors Go Extinct"

(I know.  Skills like these are a gift and a curse.  But mostly, they're a gift.)